aMessage
Dear Friend,
​
I have come to visit once again. I love to see you
suffer mentally, physically, spiritually and
socially. I want to make you restless so you can never relax.
I want to make you jumpy and
anxious. I want to make you agitated and irritable
so everything and everybody makes you
uncomfortable. I want you to be confused and
depressed so you can’t think clearly and
positively. I want you to hate everything and every
body, especially yourself. I want you to feel
guilty and remorseful for things you have done in t
he past, and you’ll never be able to let go of. I
want to make you angry and hateful toward the world
for the way it is and the way you are. I
want you to feel sorry for yourself and blame every
thing but me for the way things are. I want
you to be deceitful and untrustworthy, and to manipulate
and con as many people as possible. I
want to make you fearful and paranoid for no reason
at all. I want you to wake up during all
hours of the night screaming for me. You know you can’t
sleep without me. I’m even in your
dreams. I want to be the first thing you think about
every morning and the last thing you think
about before you black out. I would rather kill you
, but I’d be happy enough to put you back in
the hospital, another institution, or jail. But you
know I’ll be waiting for you when you get out. I
love to watch you go slowly insane. I love to see a
ll the physical damage that I am causing you. I
can’t help but sneer and chuckle when you shiver an
d shake, when you freeze and sweat at the
same time, when you wake up with your sheets and blankets
soaking wet. It’s amusing to watch
you ignore yourself, not eating, not sleeping, and
not even attending to your personal hygiene.
Yes, it’s amazing how much destruction I can be to
your internal organs while at the same time
working on your brain, destroying it bit by bit. I
deeply appreciate how much you are sacrificing
for me. The countless good jobs you have given up f
or me, all the friends whom you deeply
cared for you gave up for me. And what’s more, the
ones you turned yourself against because of
your inexcusable actions. I am eternally grateful,
especially for the loved ones, family and most
important people in the world that you have turned
yourself against. You threw even them
away for me. I cannot express in words the gratitude
I have for the loyalty you have for me. You
sacrificed all these beautiful things in life just
to devote yourself completely to me, but do not
despair my friend, for on me you can always depend.
After you have lost all these things, you
can still depend on me to take even more. You can depend
on me to keep you in a living hell, to
keep your mind, body and soul, for I will not be satisfied
until you are dead my friend.
​
Forever yours,
your addiction